Yesterday, I witnessed the broken spirit of a child ... my child.
One of my favourite mothering/parenting books is 'Shepherding the Heart of a Child' by Ted Tripp (and as a side note I highly recommend it if you haven't read it!). In that book, Tripp talks about how there are certain times the will of a child needs to be changed/broken ~ for instance in a safety issue, something that is not age appropriate, and so on. We need to be able to change their will but do it in such a way that it does not break their spirit.
Yesterday in the express check out line in our local Wal Mart, my oldest daughter was inspecting a bag of chocolate candy. She was trying to feel how big the pieces were and then put the bag back. The lady behind us bent right down and with a finger pointed in my little one's face and loudly said, 'If I payed for that bag of candy and all the pieces were squished, I wouldn't be very happy.'
OK ... obviously my first instinct as a mother is to give this woman a piece of my mind (and maybe something else!) but I chose a soft answer and just said 'ok mam.'
But then there was the moment where I felt this little hand in mine and looked down to see tear filled eyes looking for some consolation. I put my arm around this first born of mine and held her tight against me and told her not to worry.
But her eyes... those blue eyes that are always sparkling... were suddenly dimmed. You could see the embarrassment on her face and in her actions ~ people were watching her and she just wanted out.
It was then that I fully saw what breaking the spirit can do. It can cause people to doubt themselves, who they are and their worth to those around them. I saw how for the rest of the afternoon she just wanted reassurance that I loved her no matter what anyone said to her. Her little sister did a good job by just saying 'that lady was just a little crusty...don't worry!'
I must admit that even writing about this, brings tears to my eyes. Just picturing looking down at her and watching the very joy that she had just had, vanish.
May I be a mom who can help change the will of my children without breaking their spirit!! Oh, I have failed many times .. but there is a new resolve in me to make sure that my girls know their mom is their biggest supporter, encourager, cheerleader ... you get the idea!!
Their little spirits are thriving on our love, support and encouragement.
~ just some thoughts today that will hopefully encourage you as they have me ~
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